Today is like any other day. Mom will wake up alone, get dressed with the help of a PSW and go have breakfast at the dining room with all the other residents. She will then go sit in the TV room, or return to her room, and make multiple trips to the toilet, try to enter the room of other residents, walk around mumbling incoherent words, pick up the framed photos of my sister and I and kiss them , put them down, pick them up and kiss them again, and again and again. I know becasue I have seen it all through the webcam and also becasue she does it even when I am there.
Then I or Robert will visit, and she will kiss us a million sweet kisses and we will take her out.
Except today is Mother's day, and I am selling her condo- or at least that's the plan. I spent three hours yesterday writing all the paperwork- ALL 24 PAGES and last night going over everything with my Broker. Today I am meeting the buyers at my mom's place and presenting their offer to myself and Robert. I am wearing so many damn hats today my head is on fire: POA, Seller representation, and Buyer salesperson. All I care about is to get the best possible deal for my mom and to do it all correctly. All this, is quite complicated from a forms and paperwork standpoint and there will need to be A LOT of signatures, but I am really hoping today that this will be completed. I have been told I am handling all this really well, and maybe to outsiders looking in I am, but it has consumed me for the last six months, and I have put so much energy and thought into this that it has sapped me of everything I have at times. It feels to me like a heavy weight I am carrying, and I want it done, gone, sold!
Last night, as I was looking for photos to include in this blog entry, I went through an old drive with thousands of images, and I came across photos of my wedding. My student Ava took this one, and I love it becasue it is only now that I understand the look on my face. Even now, with all the stresses and my mohter's condition, as soon as she puts her arms around me I feel a transfer of energy, and a calmness like no one else can transfer. Even in this state, she is my pillar of strength. This is a true mother; despite not "knowing" she is my mother, she can do this.
I have had two marriages, and my mother was happy at both of my weddings. She loved my first husband like a son, but adored Shahen, and knew this one would last. She is almost half his height but that never stopped her from wrapping her arms around him, pulling his face down and planting a big one on his cheek. Mom was always a big fan of PDA, and still is. Glad the essence of her is still there.
At her 80th birthday, I invited all our family over and we had a nice lunch brought in. My mom was quite far into her dementia by then and could not always remember who people were outside me, my sister and Robert. She sat next to my husband, and began telling him about her daughter, and how he might like to meet her. Shahen played along and was introduced to me! I am just glad she wasn't hoping to fix him up with my sister.
So to my mom, who still is trying to marry me off, feeds me her lunch when I am there, puts a blanket one me when I fall asleep on her sofa, shoplifts KitKats and gives me half, trusted me enough to give me POA, covers my face in kisses every minute I am with her, and has the calming effects only a mother can have, Happy Mother's Day. I will come see you after I sell your home.
Then I or Robert will visit, and she will kiss us a million sweet kisses and we will take her out.
Except today is Mother's day, and I am selling her condo- or at least that's the plan. I spent three hours yesterday writing all the paperwork- ALL 24 PAGES and last night going over everything with my Broker. Today I am meeting the buyers at my mom's place and presenting their offer to myself and Robert. I am wearing so many damn hats today my head is on fire: POA, Seller representation, and Buyer salesperson. All I care about is to get the best possible deal for my mom and to do it all correctly. All this, is quite complicated from a forms and paperwork standpoint and there will need to be A LOT of signatures, but I am really hoping today that this will be completed. I have been told I am handling all this really well, and maybe to outsiders looking in I am, but it has consumed me for the last six months, and I have put so much energy and thought into this that it has sapped me of everything I have at times. It feels to me like a heavy weight I am carrying, and I want it done, gone, sold!
Last night, as I was looking for photos to include in this blog entry, I went through an old drive with thousands of images, and I came across photos of my wedding. My student Ava took this one, and I love it becasue it is only now that I understand the look on my face. Even now, with all the stresses and my mohter's condition, as soon as she puts her arms around me I feel a transfer of energy, and a calmness like no one else can transfer. Even in this state, she is my pillar of strength. This is a true mother; despite not "knowing" she is my mother, she can do this. I have had two marriages, and my mother was happy at both of my weddings. She loved my first husband like a son, but adored Shahen, and knew this one would last. She is almost half his height but that never stopped her from wrapping her arms around him, pulling his face down and planting a big one on his cheek. Mom was always a big fan of PDA, and still is. Glad the essence of her is still there.
At her 80th birthday, I invited all our family over and we had a nice lunch brought in. My mom was quite far into her dementia by then and could not always remember who people were outside me, my sister and Robert. She sat next to my husband, and began telling him about her daughter, and how he might like to meet her. Shahen played along and was introduced to me! I am just glad she wasn't hoping to fix him up with my sister.
So to my mom, who still is trying to marry me off, feeds me her lunch when I am there, puts a blanket one me when I fall asleep on her sofa, shoplifts KitKats and gives me half, trusted me enough to give me POA, covers my face in kisses every minute I am with her, and has the calming effects only a mother can have, Happy Mother's Day. I will come see you after I sell your home.
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